


The Proper Care & Feeding of Flerkens

by mammothluv



Category: Captain Marvel (2019), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2019-07-13
Packaged: 2020-06-03 03:35:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19455508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mammothluv/pseuds/mammothluv
Summary: “You are one tough customer. Let me tell you. I like you but if you didn’t have a Tesseract in that furry little belly of yours, I would not be playing Flerken sitter at this particular moment.”





	The Proper Care & Feeding of Flerkens

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ladyjax](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyjax/gifts).



> Written for ladyjax for Not Primetime 2019. Thanks for the awesome prompt! I had a ton of fun writing this!

Fury enters his office cautiously, grocery bag clutched in his hand. An expectant mew greets him. He’s still getting used to seeing with just one eye; he spots the flash of orange streaking toward him until Goose comes into focus right at his feet. 

“Hey little flerkie flerkie,” he greets his new office mate, setting down his grocery bag and reaching down to scratch Goose on his head. He lifts his hand and Goose raises on his paws just enough to nudge Fury’s hand with his head, demanding more pets. Fury obliges. He knows better than to piss off the little fuzzball after their recent adventures. And, though he may be responsible for the fact that Fury is currently down an eye, he is also a soft, handsome boy who helped them save the world. 

“Mew!” Goose insists. 

“I know what my handsome little man is after,” Fury says. He reaches down and opens the bag at his feet pulling out a veritable smörgåsbord of kitty foods. He hopes these will bring an end to their recent disagreements. 

Goose eyes each can warily as Fury pulls it out of the bag. 

“I don’t know what you like, man,” Fury reiterates for what feels like the tenth time this week. “You are the first Flerken I’ve met. You’ve gotta help me out here.” 

He opens the first can and sets it in front of Goose for evaluation. Goose sniffs. Once. Twice. He looks at Fury as his tail twitches quickly, making a soft but definitive noise against the floorboards of the office. He paws at the can, pushing it away from him and back in Fury’s direction. 

“You are one tough customer. Let me tell you. I like you but if you didn’t have a Tesseract in that furry little belly of yours, I would not be playing Flerken sitter at this particular moment.” 

Fury worries his message is diminished by the fact that he’s pulling open another can. “Oh this smells nasty!” he exclaims, nose scrunching in an effort not to take in any more of the offensive scent. He sets it down near Goose as quickly as possible and backs away. 

Goose seems intrigued. 

“Hey, hey,” Fury observes. “Now we’re getting somewhere.” 

Goose sticks his nose in, takes it out, then the tip of a tendril comes out of his mouth and he delicately dips it in the food and slurps it back in. 

Then he sneezes, shakes his head and backs away from the can. 

“Damnit. What do you want?” Fury asks, “Some live mice? Little green alien mice?” Goose looks up, seemingly intrigued. “Are you just messing with me?” 

Goose turns his back. Fury sighs. He’s got one more can. He pops it open. Goose glances back at the sound but quickly turns his head back to the wall. He doesn’t move. 

“I’m not bringing this over to you,” Fury declares. 

Goose raises a paw and licks it, beginning to groom himself. 

“Fine, man. That’s your business,” Fury says, setting the last can down on the floor next to the other two abandoned cans of what the woman at the store had assured Fury were perfectly good cat foods.

“It’s not a cat, it’s a Flerken,” he mutters to himself in exasperation as he heads to his desk.

He sits down and boots up his computer and types in his password. The Avengers Initiative is gaining some traction but not enough which means more proposals and more explanations. 

Letters appear on his screen though he’s not typed more than his password yet. And there’s purring. 

“Goose!” The Flerken is sprawled across his keyboard looking up at him expectantly. “I can’t pet you right now, little man,” Fury says, reaching down to rub his belly. Goose purrs louder, rolling back and forth on his back. More letters appear on Fury’s screen. “I’ve gotta type my report.” Goose doesn’t budge. 

Just then there’s a knock at the door. With an all too brief pause beforehand, Coulson opens the door and walks in before Fury can respond. 

“Sir, I….” Coulson pauses. “There’s a cat on your desk.” 

“Yes. Well, technically no,” Fury says, reaching up to scratch under Goose’s chin. “You’re not a cat, are you? No.” 

“Okay,” Coulson says, stepping forward only for his feet to collide with several cans of cat food which skitter across the floor. Coulson pauses, eyes traveling from the cans to the scene at Fury’s desk and back again.

“The little guy doesn’t seem to like anything I get him,” Fury offers as Coulson looks from the cans, up to Fury and Goose, and then back again. 

“I dated someone with a cat once,” Coulson offers. “Wouldn’t eat a thing unless he got a bit of catnip first. Then he was so relaxed he’d eat anything.” 

“This isn’t a cat, Coulson.” 

“Looks like a cat, sir.” 

“Hmmm. Well, cats are the closest comparison I have,” Fury reasons. “You want some nip, Goosey Goose?” Fury asks, giving Goose one more good scratch under the chin and eliciting more purrs. 

“Coulson, I assume you didn’t come here to talk about catnip.” 

“I did not, sir.” 

“What do you say you fill me in on what you did come in here to talk about while we make a little trip to the pet store?” 

Coulson nods and turns in the direction of the door. Fury is really growing to like this guy. Helpful suggestions, doesn’t ask too many questions, doesn’t turn you in when an alien shapeshifter takes your boss’s place and starts a manhunt for you. 

“So what did you want to talk about, Coulson?” Fury asks once we’re in the car and on the way to the pet store he visited just a few hours ago.

“Your Avengers Initiative,” Coulson says. 

“Seems everybody’s got an opinion on that one,” Fury observes. 

“I want in, sir,” Coulson says. 

“Well, that’s funny, because I want you in too.” 

“Excellent, sir.” 

“So now that you’re in. That creature in my office. Actually not a cat. Alien creature called a Flerken. Big tentacles inside that mouth. I’m talking a lot of tentacles. Also swallowed a Tesseract.” 

“Interesting,” Coulson replies. 

Fury glances at him. Coulson looks relatively non-plussed though his brow is furrowed slightly.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?” 

“Just wondering how this might impact our current catnip mission, sir. Unless you’ve got access to more information on Flerken’s, I suppose it doesn’t. I’m happy to do some research when we get back to the office.” 

“I’m gonna like working with you more, Coulson,” Fury says. 

**45 Minutes Later…**

Goose sniffs the air as Fury and Coulson walk into the office. 

“Mrrrowwwww.” 

“That’s right, little buddy. We got something for you,” Fury says. Goose bounds toward them and paws at Fury’s ankles until he’s standing almost upright, his nose nudging at the bag in Fury’s hands, a motor-like sound coming from his throat. 

“I think he likes it,” Coulson observes. 

“So how do we do this thing?” Fury asks. 

“I believe we open the bag and sprinkle just a small bit on the…” Coulson is interrupted when Goose’s mouth opens wide and tentacles come flying out. 

Fury and Coulson jump back but not before Goose’s tentacles have pried the entire bag of catnip from Fury’s hand and Goose has swallowed it whole. Goose rolls onto his back and his purrs become louder, so loud that Fury is certain he can feel the vibration of them traveling through the office floor and up through his feet. 

“Well, I think that went well,” Fury observes. 

Goose chooses that moment to leap up and run for the far side of the office, then over to Fury’s desk and back again. Then he sits and opens his mouth wide tentacles emerging once again. This time they flop back and forth with little rhyme or reason. A framed photo on Fury’s wall is the first casualty. 

“Maybe we should just…” Fury points to the door.

He and Coulson make a quick exit, slamming the door shut behind them and leaning against it. The look at one another as the sounds inside grow louder. A pair of agents walking down the hallway look up in alarm in the racket. 

“A little remodeling,” Fury reassures them. “You know, spicing up the workspace.” 

Coulson nods eagerly. “Renovating your office is known to have a positive impact on productivity,” he agrees as the door behind them shakes, nearly causing them both to lose their balance. 

The passing agents lower their eyes speed up their walk in the opposite direction. 

Just then, the noise from Fury’s office comes to a halt. Fury holds his breath for a moment but the silence continues.

“Should we?” Coulson asks. 

Fury nods and, turning slowly he opens the door. 

There’s a crack running down the length of one window and his keyboard is completely smashed. Luckily, the rest of his computer looks intact. Papers are strewn across the floor, some almost completely shredded, others with a small bite mark or two evident. In the middle of the chaos, Goose sits, happily munching away at one of the cans of food Fury had put out earlier in the day. 

“Who’s my good little, Goosey Goose?” Fury asks. Goose fully ignores him, opting for another bite of food. 

Coulson bends down and begins to pick up some papers, attempting to match them with their proper folders. He picks up several shredded pieces of paper and frowns at them. 

“Don’t worry about it, Coulson,” Fury assures him. “This place has looked worse.” 

Coulson nods and sets the paper shreds gingerly on Fury’s desk. 

When the can of food is completely empty, Goose rolls once again on his back and lets out a long mew. A mew which he repeats several times with an accompanying look in Fury’s direction. 

“Alright, my man,” Fury says, walking over just a tad more cautiously than he might have prior to the catnip incident. He leans over and gives Goose’s soft belly a good rub. Goose lets out a contented mew as he rolls back and forth. 

“If I had to adopt a Flerken,” Fury says, reaching up to scratch behind Goose’s ears in just the spot Goose likes, “I’m glad it was you.”


End file.
